He had a gun but he didn't use it. He could have pulled the trigger and maybe saved his life and the lives of his fellow men. He and his friends had pondered what they would do if something went wrong and their decision was firm. We came here to love and share the gospel to the Indians, they said, and they resolved that they would, as a last resort, fire the guns into the air to ward off an attack, but would shoot no-one, even to save their own lives. Five men on a mission trip decided in advance they would not kill to defend themselves with their guns if they were attacked. On Sunday afternoon, January 8, 1956, at about 3 pm, that decision cost the lives Ed McCully, Nate Saint, Jim Elliot, Roger Youderian, and Peter Fleming. The brutal slaughter of these missionaries made world wide news. Did they make the right choice? How did they pray for this moment? Did they know this tragedy might come? Did they neglect to consider their families in their decision?
Decisions come to us at many levels. Some decisions are easy to make. When someone offers me a selection of beverages, I choose the one I like the most. When offered coffee, or lemonade, or raspberry iced tea, I'll take the tea. I like raspberry iced tea so this is really not a choice.
The decision can be more difficult, however, when the selection is too large. If a restaurant menu has numerous delightful selections, some people cannot make up their mind. They stare at the menu and see so many things they like that they are unable to choose.
Beverage and food selection is a simple thing. Your selection does not change your life --maybe your waist line, but not your life. Some decisions change the course of your life forever and life changing decisions are critically more difficult. The selection of a college, a career, a city to live in, and a spouse can change your life indefinitely.
Christians pray without ceasing and take everything to the Lord in prayer. We do not usually pray and wrestle over beverage and food selections, but often we do wrestle over college, career choices, and so on. Our praying over these issues is usually with some feel for what we are asking. We might pray, "God, I have looked at three different colleges all of which seem like great choices. I want to go where you want me to go and I am asking for you to show me your will plainly." Or we might pray, "God, I really love "Mr. Man" and I think it would honor you for us to get married and serve you together as a family. I think I am ready for this to happen and I pray that our decision would please you. If I am mistaken, Father, please show me the error of my ways."
Some decisions and prayers are much more difficult. The wife of a slain missionary left alone to rear a baby daughter might pray and ask God why didn't they use their guns? Now what do I do? Her heart groans without words.
Sometimes we absolutely do not know what to pray. God knows this will happen. The more we long to serve God and abandon our lives to his service the more decisions we face without simple answers.
Paul labors with the question in Philippians 1:22-24 "Now if I live on in the flesh, this means fruitful work for me; and I don't know which one I should choose. I am pressured by both. I have the desire to depart and be with Christ - which is far better - but to remain in the flesh is more necessary for you."1 Paul and his worn out body are in prison again. He does not know what to pray for in his next trial, but he wants the will of God most of all. Jesus once told his disciples that they did not know what they were asking, "You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?" (Matthew 20:22) James wrote "You ask and don't receive because you ask wrongly" (James 4:3)
I don't want to ask wrongly. I want to ask and learn to ask for the right things from God. But what should I do when I have no idea what to ask? Paul wrote to the Romans:
Before we answer what to pray when you don't know what to pray, we must understand what "in the same way means" in verse 26. Two possibilities exist. One is that the spirit is groaning like creation and like the believer, and the other is that the spirit has helped us all along the way and this help continues. The second is a better answer.
The first possibility is that the whole creation groans in verse 22, we groan as well in verse 23, and some would say the spirit groans without words also in verse 26. This seems to violate the theme of Paul teaching throughout the chapter. The work of the Spirit is everywhere.
"In the same way" comes on the heals of the helping ministry of the Spirit seen through the entire chapter. "In the same way" means that just like the Spirit helps you in other areas, now he helps you pray-helps you groan.
A second challenge to the spirit groaning in the same way as creation and believers is that the "Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God" in verse 27. The Spirit interceding like this does not seem compatible with unspoken groanings in verse 26. For the spirit to intercede for the saints within the will of God indicates the ability of the Spirit to speak of and define the will of God. "In the same way" does not refer to the Spirit groaning because the Spirit is not the one groaning, we are.
The unspoken groanings in verse 26 seem to be those of the believer who does not know what to pray. In other words, the groanings are genuinely those of the believer, as in verse 23, that originate in the believer and proceed from the believer though the enablement, presence, and power of the Holy Spirit. These inexpressible groanings are the longings that arise in a believer's heart to do and know the will of God in the absence of clear direction.3
The Spirit helps us along while we groan in prayer with groanings that words cannot express. Here are some principles to remember when you are groaning and don't know how to pray.
The weakness in verse 26 & 27 is not knowing what to pray. God knows and understands your weakness. The humility it takes to admit your weakness to God and others honors God. Start by being honest with God. Sometimes, in weakness, we just don't know.
Many of the other aspects of the work of the Spirit in Romans 8 are obvious in the life of the Christian. Recount in your prayers the past faithfulness of God through the Holy Spirit and ask him for the strength to trust him now for the future. In short, trust in the "future grace" of God promised to all believers.
The Holy Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God while you wrestle. Count on it! God knows the mindset of the Spirit and he knows our hearts because he is the one who searches them out. God will reveal his will to the praying groaning Christian through the power of the Spirit in the life of the Christian.
God will reveal his will in his time. All things work together for good to those who love God. Caution-sometimes this takes a while. Love and treasure God enough to wait for him to work his will while you groan, even if you die groaning.
We groan because we do not know what to pray. The spirit helps us groan. The spirit intercedes to God for us and to God through us. The Spirit knows the will of God. God works his will to the good of those who love him. You love God. Praise God that he works his will in you while you are groaning and cannot see it.
The Holy Spirit filled, God honoring, praise giving, Christ exalting Christian desires to exalt Christ above all things. In that desire to exalt Christ above all things is the willingness and longing to be pre-committed to the will of God even before it is revealed, and even if it is revealed at great personal cost, even if we have to groan a while before we see it.
"When you feel very weak, because of suffering or decay or sickness or futility or persecution or failed plans or baffling decisions, don't despair, as if God is angry with you or at your inability to know what to do or what to pray. At that very moment, experience the wordless groanings of your heart as groanings for the glory of Christ. And trust the Spirit of God to intercede for you about the specifics. Trust him, that because he is praying for you, your Father will bring about decisions and circumstances that will magnify Christ in the best way - in the very midst of your ignorance and groaning.
What a gracious and merciful God we have. He has planned for all our weakness and nothing can separate us from his love!"4
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Copyright © 2005 by Kevin Binkley