On Wednesday night we have a combined teaching and prayer time which follows our midweek dinner. At 7:00 pm I teach for 15 minutes about prayer. We discuss things like how to pray, what to pray for, what to do when you don't want to pray, and how to pray when you don't know what to pray for. Then, we kneel our knowledge into action and tether the teaching to 30 minutes of prayer time. The style of our prayer time varies from week to week ranging from small groups, large groups, leader called prayer, and others. I believe this humble agenda honors God and brings him glory. Please join us.

Some might wonder if people will be reluctant to come for an extended time of prayer. William Cooper said that

We will be concerned with neither the fear of man or Satan. We are boldly driven by our love for God and our desire to humbly declare our allegiance to him. Spurgeon said years ago:

Jim Cymbala, Pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle and author of "Fresh Wind Fresh Fire" declared similarly that:

Although well said, Spurgeon and Cymbala are dirt and blood like you and me. God said,

Brothers and sisters in Christ please join us on Wednesday night and declare your humble dependence on God for all things.

A new series of teaching on prayer is likely to raise the question "Why pray?". This might seem like a reasonable question. But it is the wrong question!

One would think that numerous verses from the Bible give us the reasons why we should pray. Paul commanded Christians to pray constantly¹. The command to pray however is a weak answer to the question of why we should pray.

God made human beings pre-wired to communicate. When your spouse walks into the room, you will usually exchange some conversation. When your friends come over for dinner you will often talk late into the night. Neighbors meet at the property line to discuss the weather, lawn care, football scores, and the new neighbors. Kids hang out together and talk. When couples are courting they talk and talk and talk. Anywhere there is a relationship there is an abundance of communication and conversation.

When someone's feelings get hurt, they stop talking, they stop communicating. When people have nothing to say to each other, we almost assume that something is wrong. If you are not talking to your spouse, there is likely a relationship problem.

Some parents help their children to mend broken relationships by making them say things like, "Now Billy, you tell Mary that you are sorry for what you did. Come on. Tell her! I'm waiting!!" The parent continues, "Now Mary, you tell Billy you forgive him" and so the conversation goes. Conversation that should be natural becomes forced when the relationship isn't right.

If we can't talk with our mouths, we talk with our hands. If we can't talk with our mouths or hands, we say blink your eyes once if the answer is "yes," and twice if the answer is "no." Communication is the framework of a healthy relationship. It is the same with God.

My healthy relationship with God draws me to communicate with Him. Prayer is communication with God. It is unthinkable for a husband who loves his wife to need 10 reasons to talk to her. He may not communicate as well as he should, but he does not need to be convinced that he should. The Christian's prayers are the natural expression of a relationship with God. The question then is not why should I pray, but what is wrong if I am not praying?

Answer? Something is wrong with the relationship. If I am not praying, I must repent and ask God to restore my relationship with him. Have I offended God? Am I living in defiance of his will? Is my conversation hindered because my walk with God is strained? Do I not want to talk with God because I am ashamed to be with him?

Psalms 32:6 says

Daniel 9:17 says

So, why should we pray? Wrong question. The question is, why are we not praying?

I knew as soon as the question was asked that it was a mistake. An accident likely, but still a mistake. You see, John was just a visitor to church that Sunday, and church was not a part of his life on a regular basis. I'm not sure if he ever went to church, maybe when he was a kid. John knew who God was, but he didn't know him.

I knew John because we "turned wrenches" at the same shop. He and I were small engine mechanics. I was working as a mechanic while training to be a pastor, and he was always looking for another injured engine to take home and bring back to life. Our ongoing conversations about life and family and bosses and gasoline and diesel fuel often drifted to the things of God.

One Friday he said, "Yeh, I'll ride along to church with you this Sunday." And so he did. That's where the question happened. All eyes were on my friend and the room became awkwardly silent. The deacon who taught the Sunday School class asked a question he probably asked a 1000 times.

"John," the teacher said, "would you open us up in a word of prayer?" I knew right away we were in trouble. I felt sorry for John. I looked around trying to think of a way to bail out my friend. The question was so familiar to our class, but my mind raced through the potential strangeness of it. I wondered what John thinks "Open us up" means or a "word" of prayer. Is that one word? Did he mean "words" of prayer?

John gave an honest answer. "I'm sorry," he said sheepishly, "I don't know how to pray." Well, at least he was honest.

How do you pray? Do you just say what you've heard other people say when they pray? Do you try to learn the catch phrases and slogans from the good prayers?

Short Answer:

Allow me to suggest two answers- a short answer and a long answer. The short answer is Just talk to God. Forget the lingo, forget the "Christianese," forget who else is listening, forget the clock, forget yourself, and talk to God. Tell God you love him. Tell him where you are weak and ask for help. Tell him that you want to be a better husband, or wife, or son, or daughter, or mother, or father, or worker. Tell him your failures. Tell him that your heart is broken over them and ask him to forgive you. Thank him for freely forgiving you when you sin against him. Tell him that all sin is against him, and you know it. Tell him you could not bear to live without his working and presence in your life.

Communication is the framework of a relationship. A Christian is a person with a relationship with the God of the universe, and prayer is the communication of a Christian to God. Maybe you just need to start talking. Another needs to stop the clichés and start talking from the heart. Another might need to stop praying to the people around them, and start talking to God. Whatever the case, we need to talk to God. That's what prayer is, that is how you do it. Short answer? Talk to God.

Long Answer:

The long answer adds some important aspects to prayer.

1. Pray humbly. Submissiveness to God and before him is the heartbeat of the Christian. Saturate your prayers with humility. Arrogance in any relationship, and especially with God, is ugly and unhealthy.
   2 Chronicles 7:14 [If] my people who are called by My name humble themselves, pray and seek My face, and turn from their evil ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land. ¹
   Ezra 10:1-2 While Ezra prayed and confessed, weeping and falling facedown before the house of God, an extremely large assembly of Israelite men, women, and children gathered around him. The people also wept bitterly.
   Luke 18:13 "But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even raise his eyes to heaven but kept striking his chest and saying, 'God, turn Your wrath from me - a sinner!
2. Pray privately. Our praying does not have to be only private, but it does have to be at least in private. Our dearest friends are close to us because of time alone sharing with each other. Spend time alone with God.
   Matthew 6:6 But when you pray, go into your private room, shut your door, and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
   Matthew 14:23 He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. When evening came, He was there alone.
3. Pray regularly. Relationships need regular communication to stay healthy. Some would argue that they have endured long gaps in communication and the relationship was still strong. This is true especially in extended absences. God, however, is not absent. He is among us. If you encountered someone on a constant basis and had no communication, that relationship would suffer. Communicate often with God.
   Luke 5:16 Yet He often withdrew to deserted places and prayed.
   Luke 5:33 they said to Him, "John's disciples fast often and say prayers"
4. Pray constantly. Have you ever had an exciting thing happen and you just couldn't wait to tell someone? It like a bubble inside of you just waiting to pop! Ever had something terrible happen? The event consumes your thoughts and plants a knot in your stomach that won't go away. Events like this linger with us and drive our thoughts and emotions. We should pray constantly by having our thoughts always driven to the things of God. Countless events should immediately trigger our minds to be thankful to God, or to ask him for grace.
   Ephesians 6:18 Pray at all times in the Spirit, and stay alert in this, with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints
   1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 Rejoice always! Pray constantly. Give thanks in everything, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
5. Pray publicly. It is good for the God's people to come together and pray. Silently, out loud, in groups, and as individuals. Public prayer is the "life support system" of the body of Christ. Don't pull the plug. You won't be healthy without it.
   Acts 1:14 All these were continually united in prayer, along with the women, including Mary the mother of Jesus, and His brothers.
   Acts 6:6 They had them stand before the apostles, who prayed and laid their hands on them.
   Acts 12:12 When he realized this, he went to the house of Mary, the mother of John Mark, where many had assembled and were praying
   James 5:14 Is anyone among you sick? He should call for the elders of the church, and they should pray over him after anointing him with olive oil in the name of the Lord
6. Pray fervently. Do you like it when someone says "I love you?" I sure do. How do you like to hear it? With a yawn and no eye contact? I doubt it. When you tell someone you love them, what if they roll their eyes and say, "Yeah, whatever." NO WAY! You want passion. Passion brings the words alive! Passion says the truth in my heart is overflowing from my words, actions, and attitudes. Fervently means intense, devoted, earnest, and passionate. Jesus prayed fervently because it expressed his heart to the father. If you cannot remember your last fervent conversation with God, check your heart. Where is the passion?
   Acts 6:4 But we will devote ourselves to prayer
   Luke 6:12 He went out to the mountain to pray and spent all night in prayer to God.
   1 Thessalonians 3:10 we pray earnestly night and day to see you
   Romans 15:30 Now I implore you, brothers, through the Lord Jesus Christ and through the love of the Spirit, to agonize together with me in your prayers to God on my behalf
   Luke 22:44 Being in anguish, He prayed more fervently, and His sweat became like drops of blood falling to the ground.
   James 5:16 The intense prayer of the righteous is very powerful

Brothers and sisters in Christ, talk to God!

Liliane Gerenstein was only eleven years old when she wrote a little prayer to God. It was a sweet prayer with the flavor of maturity. She asked for the impossible. You see, it was 1944 and the orphanage that Liliane and her 13 year old brother Maurice were in turned out to be a nice place to hide from the Gestapo. Liliane didn't know it yet, but in 48 hours she would fly to rest in the arms of the one to whom she prayed.

Liliane wrote to God:

What sweet humility before God. This little Jewish girl hiding from the Gestapo in an orphanage without her parents still saw the goodness of God and though he was worthy of praise and glory. Was she naive? I don't think so.

What else could she pray for? God is good and kind beyond measurement. God is just. God rewards those who seek him. Liliane believed it. She could have prayed for fresh bread, or a nice blanket, or a new toy. But she didn't. Liliane instead declared to her maker that she was dependent on God to be true to his character and she thanked him in advance for the assurance that he would.

So, what should we pray for? What should we pray for when everything is going great and we are afraid to pinch ourselves to see if it is real. What should we pray for when we are at the end of our rope, we cannot hang on any longer, and our grip is weakening? What should we pray for when the pain will not go away?

Two answers.

1. Pray for everything according to the examples and commands in the word of God.
2. Pray with specific emphasis on God's attributes, God's will, personal needs, confession, and help and protection.

First, according to the examples and commands in the word of God, we can safely say pray for everything, everybody, and literally all things.

The bible says to pray for:

The Bible leaves no wiggle room. We should pray about all things.

Second, no prayer in the Bible actually includes everything. So the question might be, if I'm not going to pray for everything every time I pray, what things especially should I pray for?

Answer: Pray with specific emphasis on God's attributes, God's will, personal needs, confession, and help and protection. The disciples asked Jesus in Matthew 6:9-13 to teach them how to pray and he said pray like this:

Jesus modeled a prayer for the disciples wrapped in proclaiming the attributes, character, or nature of God. Six lines declare the greatness of God, one line desires God's will, one line asks for personal needs, one line confesses sin and seeks forgiveness, and one line asks for God's protection. What a great model! We should pray like this. Acknowledging the greatness of God and his attributes is the foundation for everything else we pray. It is only because God is who he says he is that we can take everything to the Lord in prayer. Declare back to God your understanding of and pleasure in who he is. This will honor God.

Does this square with the other prayers in the Bible? Nehemiah's prayer in Nehemiah 1:5-11 begins with "LORD God of heaven, the great and awe-inspiring God who keeps His gracious covenant with those who love Him".² Nehemiah repeatedly declares the greatness of God, confesses sin, and asks for God's help.

Daniel's prayer in Daniel 9:4-19 begins the same as Nehemiah's and includes confession, repentance, and request for God's help and protection.

In Acts 4:24-30 the apostles prayer for help and protection began "Master, You are the One who made the heaven, the earth, and the sea, and everything in them."

John 17 is the longest recorded prayer of Jesus and the greatness of God is woven throughout. One writer said the primary theme of this prayer is the glory of God which is the purpose of history.³

The whole earth is full of the glory of God (Isaiah 6:3). God "will not give [his glory] to another (Isaiah 43:7). We are to "give the Lord the glory due his name" (Psalm 29:2). We can certainly do this in our prayers.

Conclusion: Pray about everything, but weave and wrap your prayers with the beauty of God, laying a solid foundation under your prayers based on God's unchangeable character.

A story is told of an old woman who traveled around the countryside going from home to home selling thread, buttons, and shoestrings. When she came to an unmarked crossroad, she would toss a stick into the air and go in the direction the stick pointed when it landed. One day however, she was seen tossing the stick up in the air several times. "Why do you toss the stick more than once?" someone asked. "Because," replied the woman, "it keeps pointing to the left, and I want to take the road on the right." She then dutifully kept throwing the stick into the air until it pointed the way she wanted to go!¹

Christian, do you pray like that? Do you pray for the will of God whatever it is? Or do you keep throwing the stick up until you get what you want?

A mother drove her carriage along a road while a sibling cared for a spoiled baby in the back seat. The child continued to scream for something until finally the frustrated mother spun around and said, "Why don't you just give him what he wants and stop all this infernal fussing. The caretaker granted her wish and allowed the child to have what he wanted. The child wanted to play with a resting wasp. The child's screams were magnified by the sting of the wasp. The mother called out again and said, "Now what is the matter?" The reply came back, "He got what he wanted."

Like the child in the story, sometimes we should not get what we ask God for. Sometimes we should not get what we want because we want the wrong thing. That is why James said "You ask and don't receive because you ask wrongly, so that you may spend it on your desires for pleasure. (James 4:3)

In our previous discussion on what to pray for, we said to pray about everything even though no prayer in the Bible actually includes everything. So if I'm not going to pray for everything every time I pray, what things especially should I pray for? Jesus teaches us specific things to pray for in the Lord 's Prayer (often called the disciples prayer). We will look at especially the fourth line of the prayer in Matthew 6:9-13 and expand how to pray for the will of God.

We should pray for the will of God. How do we know what God's will is? Although we certainly have times when the specific will of God is unclear, the Bible tells us specifically what the will of God is in many situations. What can we know about the will of God?

First, Christians by definition strive to do the will of God. Matthew 7:21 says, "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord!' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of My Father in heaven."³ The ones doing God's will are the ones going to heaven. Forever! In other words, if you do the will of God now, you will do it forever because "the one who does God's will remains forever." (1 John 2:17) It is a very dangerous thing to realize that the pattern of your life is against the declared will of God. Pray to do the will of God in your life.

Second, doing the will of God requires an ongoing battle to suppress the desire to do our own will. Peter said that "since Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same resolve ... no longer for human desires, but for God's will." Christians are those characterized by doing the will of God, but it does not come in passivity, we fight for it with resolve. Pray for the strength to do the will of God.

Third, see the fight for the will of God as the pursuit of your own pleasure. Jesus said "My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to finish His work," (John 4:34). Doing the will of God fills me up! Gives me strength! Satisfied my desires! It is my food! David said "I delight to do Your will, my God." (Psalm 40:8) Ephesians 6:6 tells not to work only "while being watched, in order to please men, but as slaves of Christ, do God's will from your heart." Embrace the will of God, no matter how difficult, and do it from the heart. Pray for pleasure in doing the will of God from your heart.

Fourth, learn what the will of God is. David said, "Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God." (Psalm 143:10) Paul said in Romans that submitting to God and allowing him to transform you will enable you to discern the will of God. "Therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God." (Romans 12:1-2) God will teach us his will as we must submit ourselves to him, resist conformity to the Godless culture around us, and allow him to transform (or make) us into a new person. Fools resist this process according to Ephesians 5:17, "don't be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is." Do not be a fool. The fool says in his heart there is no God. Pray for God to teach you his will and help you to discern his will, which means to know it when you see it.

Fifth, God tells his will in numerous areas. Pray for:

David Livingstone tells how he was chased up a small tree and besieged by lions. He said the tree was so small that he was barely out of reach of the lions. He said they would stand on their back feet and roar and shake the little tree, and that he could feel the hot breath of the lions as they sought him. "But," he states, "I had a good night and felt happier and safer in that little tree besieged by lions, in the jungles of Africa, in the will of God, than I would have been out of the will of God in England." There is one safe and happy place, and that is in the will of God.

The Bible tells us many things that are clearly the will of God. We can pray boldly when we are praying for God's stated will. Pray the will of God when you know it. Pray to know the will of God when you don't know what it is. Pray to have the strength to do it when you see it. Pray to enjoy the will of God. Pray to suffer well in God's will. Pray for endurance. Pray to be always pursuing the safety of the will of God, no matter how dangerous it is!

It was a problem that just wouldn't go away. Every time I turned around I was making the same repair, only at different places on the farm. Early in my business career, I was a "hog farmer," a farmer who raised hogs. My recurring problem was a constant nuisance. It usually started with a soft mushy spot on the ground which turned into a little pond in the yard. Next, it developed into a little stream and water would meander in whatever direction was downhill and create an annoying miniature river.

The answer was always the same. Hire a man with a backhoe loader to dig away the dirt and expose the problem. The problem was often the same. Old rusty water pipes buried years ago were just not dependable any more, and the next weakest spot sprung a leak on a regular basis.

One day I said, "That's enough!" I called my backhoe friend and we dug up all the water lines on the entire farm and replaced all the old rotting galvanized pipes with new plastic pipe. It was a mess, but it was worth it. Oh sure, it maybe wasn't my last leak ever on the farm, but it made a huge difference.

In the beginning of my water leaking adventure, I kept trying to fix the symptom of the problem, but I focused on the wrong thing. The leaks really were not the issue. The entire underground piping system was flawed, and the leaks were only the symptom of the real problem- sort of a constant reminder.

Sickness is like my underground rusty pipes. Sickness is an ever present reminder in your life and mine that the whole system of things is flawed by sin. The lingering effects of sin tarnish everything and we can never completely get away from it. Christians know that one day God will remove all pain, all sickness, and wipe away every tear. Christians long for that day. In the mean time though, we wrestle with the rusty pipes.

Remember this when you pray. Don't get caught up only by the symptoms. Pray with the big picture in mind. David Powlison wrote:

Donna Schaper said sometimes prayer meetings "[become] solely an organ recital (loose livers, leaky lungs, and sickly stomachs).² John MacArthur Jr. while preaching on Ephesians said the same thing.

Praying for the sick is never forbidden in the Bible, it is actually encouraged. James 5:14-17 says

Notice how this verse ties together sickness, healing, confession, and forgiveness. Sickness reminds us that what we really need is redemption. That is, we need restoration, we need deliverance from sin, we need to "get back" to the way things were supposed to be, to the way God made his perfect creation. The beauty is that God is in the restoration business. God gives a new heart where there is a broken one, new thoughts where there were old thoughts, new life where there was death, new hope after all hope is lost, and new health where sickness is sapping it away.

God is restoring fallen mankind in the Kingdom of God while symptoms of the fall linger on. Pray with the real issues in mind. Focus on the bigger picture. Focus on the work God is doing and not just the symptoms of the problem.

Sickness is a real problem, but it is not "the" problem. There are much bigger issues at stake in the Kingdom of God than sickness. We are all going to die. The vast majority of us will die from something that we could be healed of, no matter how old we are. So, when do you stop praying for healing and say, "God, let me go now, I am old and sick." The prayer for healing will eventually go unanswered for most of us. I think the answer lies in how we pray for the sick all along the way.

Allow me to suggest some things that will help us to keep a right focus when praying for the sick.

1. Sickness reminds us of the fallen condition of man.

   Whatever else it may point to, all sickness continues to point to the fallen nature of man and the groaning that accompanies our condition. We await redemption.

   Romans 8:22-24 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together with labor pains until now. And not only that, but we ourselves who have the Spirit as the firstfruits - we also groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies.
2. Sickness is not always the result of a particular sin.

   Illness is often the result of living in a sinful world, and not just the result of one's individual sin. Even the disciples made an incorrect assumption about a lame man.

   John 9:2-3 His disciples questioned Him: "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor his parents sinned,"
3. Sickness is sometimes the result of a particular sin.

   Sometimes we reap in sickness what we sow in sin. Sin often results in sickness. The following list is some examples:

   A) Worry

   B) Unconfessed sin

   C) Sexual promiscuity

   D) Foolish actions

   E) Addictions (alcohol, cigarettes)

   F) Foolish actions

   1 Corinthians 11:29-30 For whoever eats and drinks without recognizing the body, eats and drinks judgment on himself. This is why many are sick and ill among you, and many have fallen asleep. (Asleep here means that they have died.)
4. Sickness brings certain temptations with it.

   It is as important to pray for help in overcoming the temptations that come with sickness as it is to pray about the sickness itself. Some of those temptations are:

   A) Anger

   B) Dishonesty (denial)

   C) Worry

   D) Blame

   E) Laziness

   F) Discouragement

   G) Self pity

   H) Selfishness

   I) Doubting

   2 Chronicles 16:12-13 In the thirty-ninth year of his reign, Asa developed a disease in his feet, and his disease became increasingly severe. Yet even in his disease he didn't seek the LORD but the physicians.
5. Sickness provides opportunity for spiritual growth.

   Never underestimate the opportunity that rides in on the wings of illness. Sickness is an opportunity to learn trust in God and rely on his faithfulness to his word. Where or to whom do you first turn when sickness and pain strike?

   Isaiah 38:1-5 In those days Hezekiah became terminally ill... Then Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD... "Please, LORD, remember how I have walked before You faithfully and wholeheartedly, and have done what is good in Your sight." And Hezekiah wept bitterly. Then the word of the LORD came to Isaiah: "Go and tell Hezekiah that this is what the LORD God of your ancestor David says: I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears. Look, I am going to add 15 years to your life.
6. Sickness teaches us to depend on God.

   God has not promised to remove every discomfort in this life, but he promises to show his power in our weakness. Are you willing to be made weak so that God can be shown strong?

   2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may reside in me. So because of Christ, I am pleased in weaknesses, in insults, in catastrophes, in persecutions, and in pressures. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
7. Sickness ultimately points to the glory of God.

   The loftiest goal of every Christian is to boldly proclaim the glory of God for the joy of all people. Will you welcome God to use you to glorify him? Even if it hurts?

   John 9:3-4 "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," Jesus answered. "This came about so that God's works might be displayed in him.

Friends, pray beyond the sick list. Pray and ask God to help you and sick persons see the bigger picture of what God is doing. Thank God for promised final release from "our bondage to decay." In the mean time though, ask God to help you search your heart, resist the temptations common to illness, grow spiritually through your hardships, depend on him when hope is dim, and use you to declare the glory of God boldly even if it comes at great personal expense.

He had a gun but he didn't use it. He could have pulled the trigger and maybe saved his life and the lives of his fellow men. He and his friends had pondered what they would do if something went wrong and their decision was firm. We came here to love and share the gospel to the Indians, they said, and they resolved that they would, as a last resort, fire the guns into the air to ward off an attack, but would shoot no-one, even to save their own lives. Five men on a mission trip decided in advance they would not kill to defend themselves with their guns if they were attacked. On Sunday afternoon, January 8, 1956, at about 3 pm, that decision cost the lives Ed McCully, Nate Saint, Jim Elliot, Roger Youderian, and Peter Fleming. The brutal slaughter of these missionaries made world wide news. Did they make the right choice? How did they pray for this moment? Did they know this tragedy might come? Did they neglect to consider their families in their decision?

Decisions come to us at many levels. Some decisions are easy to make. When someone offers me a selection of beverages, I choose the one I like the most. When offered coffee, or lemonade, or raspberry iced tea, I'll take the tea. I like raspberry iced tea so this is really not a choice.

The decision can be more difficult, however, when the selection is too large. If a restaurant menu has numerous delightful selections, some people cannot make up their mind. They stare at the menu and see so many things they like that they are unable to choose.

Beverage and food selection is a simple thing. Your selection does not change your life --maybe your waist line, but not your life. Some decisions change the course of your life forever and life changing decisions are critically more difficult. The selection of a college, a career, a city to live in, and a spouse can change your life indefinitely.

Christians pray without ceasing and take everything to the Lord in prayer. We do not usually pray and wrestle over beverage and food selections, but often we do wrestle over college, career choices, and so on. Our praying over these issues is usually with some feel for what we are asking. We might pray, "God, I have looked at three different colleges all of which seem like great choices. I want to go where you want me to go and I am asking for you to show me your will plainly." Or we might pray, "God, I really love "Mr. Man" and I think it would honor you for us to get married and serve you together as a family. I think I am ready for this to happen and I pray that our decision would please you. If I am mistaken, Father, please show me the error of my ways."

Some decisions and prayers are much more difficult. The wife of a slain missionary left alone to rear a baby daughter might pray and ask God why didn't they use their guns? Now what do I do? Her heart groans without words.

Sometimes we absolutely do not know what to pray. God knows this will happen. The more we long to serve God and abandon our lives to his service the more decisions we face without simple answers.

Paul labors with the question in Philippians 1:22-24 "Now if I live on in the flesh, this means fruitful work for me; and I don't know which one I should choose. I am pressured by both. I have the desire to depart and be with Christ - which is far better - but to remain in the flesh is more necessary for you."¹ Paul and his worn out body are in prison again. He does not know what to pray for in his next trial, but he wants the will of God most of all. Jesus once told his disciples that they did not know what they were asking, "You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?" (Matthew 20:22) James wrote "You ask and don't receive because you ask wrongly" (James 4:3)

I don't want to ask wrongly. I want to ask and learn to ask for the right things from God. But what should I do when I have no idea what to ask? Paul wrote to the Romans:

Before we answer what to pray when you don't know what to pray, we must understand what "in the same way means" in verse 26. Two possibilities exist. One is that the spirit is groaning like creation and like the believer, and the other is that the spirit has helped us all along the way and this help continues. The second is a better answer.

The first possibility is that the whole creation groans in verse 22, we groan as well in verse 23, and some would say the spirit groans without words also in verse 26. This seems to violate the theme of Paul teaching throughout the chapter. The work of the Spirit is everywhere.

• According to verse 2 the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus sets you free
• According to verse 4 the Spirit helps you fulfill the just requirement of the law.
• According to verse 6 the Spirit gives life and peace.
• According to verse 11 God will raise you from the dead by the Spirit who dwells in you.
• According to verse 13 the Spirit helps you put to death the deeds of the body.
• According to verse 14 the sons of God are led by the Spirit.
• According to verses 15-16 the Spirit bears witness in us and gives us assurance of our salvation.
• According to verse 23 the Holy Spirit is the foretaste and guarantee of our final redemption.²

"In the same way" comes on the heals of the helping ministry of the Spirit seen through the entire chapter. "In the same way" means that just like the Spirit helps you in other areas, now he helps you pray-helps you groan.

A second challenge to the spirit groaning in the same way as creation and believers is that the "Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God" in verse 27. The Spirit interceding like this does not seem compatible with unspoken groanings in verse 26. For the spirit to intercede for the saints within the will of God indicates the ability of the Spirit to speak of and define the will of God. "In the same way" does not refer to the Spirit groaning because the Spirit is not the one groaning, we are.

The unspoken groanings in verse 26 seem to be those of the believer who does not know what to pray. In other words, the groanings are genuinely those of the believer, as in verse 23, that originate in the believer and proceed from the believer though the enablement, presence, and power of the Holy Spirit. These inexpressible groanings are the longings that arise in a believer's heart to do and know the will of God in the absence of clear direction.³

The Spirit helps us along while we groan in prayer with groanings that words cannot express. Here are some principles to remember when you are groaning and don't know how to pray.

1. Acknowledge your weakness to God.

   The weakness in verse 26 & 27 is not knowing what to pray. God knows and understands your weakness. The humility it takes to admit your weakness to God and others honors God. Start by being honest with God. Sometimes, in weakness, we just don't know.

2. Trust in the Holy Spirit to intercede.

   Many of the other aspects of the work of the Spirit in Romans 8 are obvious in the life of the Christian. Recount in your prayers the past faithfulness of God through the Holy Spirit and ask him for the strength to trust him now for the future. In short, trust in the "future grace" of God promised to all believers.

3. Depend on the intercession of the Spirit to reveal the will of God.

   The Holy Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God while you wrestle. Count on it! God knows the mindset of the Spirit and he knows our hearts because he is the one who searches them out. God will reveal his will to the praying groaning Christian through the power of the Spirit in the life of the Christian.

4. Be patient while you groan.

   God will reveal his will in his time. All things work together for good to those who love God. Caution-sometimes this takes a while. Love and treasure God enough to wait for him to work his will while you groan, even if you die groaning.

5. Praise God that he works his will apart from your understanding.

   We groan because we do not know what to pray. The spirit helps us groan. The spirit intercedes to God for us and to God through us. The Spirit knows the will of God. God works his will to the good of those who love him. You love God. Praise God that he works his will in you while you are groaning and cannot see it.

6. Exalt Christ while you love God, groan inwardly, and wait patiently.

   The Holy Spirit filled, God honoring, praise giving, Christ exalting Christian desires to exalt Christ above all things. In that desire to exalt Christ above all things is the willingness and longing to be pre-committed to the will of God even before it is revealed, and even if it is revealed at great personal cost, even if we have to groan a while before we see it.

"When you feel very weak, because of suffering or decay or sickness or futility or persecution or failed plans or baffling decisions, don't despair, as if God is angry with you or at your inability to know what to do or what to pray. At that very moment, experience the wordless groanings of your heart as groanings for the glory of Christ. And trust the Spirit of God to intercede for you about the specifics. Trust him, that because he is praying for you, your Father will bring about decisions and circumstances that will magnify Christ in the best way - in the very midst of your ignorance and groaning.

What a gracious and merciful God we have. He has planned for all our weakness and nothing can separate us from his love!"⁴

Mary sat in the meeting because she had read the book. So did the ten or eleven other people that were there. Some gave it a quick read the night before and others wrestled the pages full of ink and highlighter. Mary was somewhere in the middle. She read it, but she just couldn't find the passion and peace the author wrote about.

Mary remembered the announcement. "Our book of the month," the pastor beamed, "will be 'The Prayer of Jesus,' by Hank Hanagraph. They are available free of charge to all who want to read it and we will get together next month to discuss it." Mary's heart sank and surged at the same time. She wanted to have a better prayer life, a much better one. How do I get there? Read a book about it? She wasn't sure.

The meeting started with a word of prayer after someone commented that the best way to start a meeting to discuss a book on prayer, would likely be to pray. After a few chuckles, a prayer was offered. The leader first asked if everyone read the book and a multipitched chorus of affirmatives spilled out.

Next question, what is your overall opinion of the book? Has it helped your prayer life? "I just don't get nothin' out of my prayin'," Mary immediately blurted out. She almost surprised herself as much as the others. "I don't know why I even do it," she lamented.

"Let's talk about that," the leader said.

Mary's prayer life is in a rut. Maybe yours is too. Maybe you are in a rut and you don't realize it.

A rut is grooved track made by wheels that can be difficult to get out of. A "prayer rut" is a habit or track we are in that we cannot get out of unless we see it and are intentional. I can remember getting my tractor stuck in the mud when I was farming. Often I would be able to move forwards and backwards a great distance but couldn't get out of the tracks or ruts. I had to enlist some outside help to assist me and pull me out.

Prayer is the natural expression of a heart that is in a relationship with God². We know that communication within any relationship is a natural, necessary, important, vital part of the relationship. The Bible tells us to not get into a rut. So, what does a rut look like in your prayer life? First we'll look at a couple verses about ruts, then a list of some ruts we might find ourselves in.

The overwhelming message in these verses is don't babble on aimlessly, and don't pray for show. Babble in verse 7 above is from battalogew (battalogew) which is literally to speak with a stutter. Battos (Battos) is a stutterer and logew (logew) is to speak. This word here means pointless repetition.

In verse 40 the word for "long" is makra (makra) from which we get macro. Macros comes from mega (mega) from which we get mega. Both words are familiar to us as big, large, and long. Praying like this is using long words and phrases, or lengthy prayers for show.

What we say when we communicate matters. We can learn to communicate better to each other and to God. One writer said,

Let's look at a few ruts we accidentally fall into, but first a word of caution. It is possible to pray with many of the following phrases and still be sincere in our prayers. The purpose of this teaching is not to fall into endless second guessing over everything we pray, but to think about what we are saying. I struggle with using some of the following phrases myself, but I want to learn. I want you to learn with me. I want to learn to say what I really mean in some cases, and in other times I want to avoid pointless repetition.

Some common prayer ruts are:

1. Repeating words. The use of certain words is never wrong, but spoken repeatedly (every 4-5 words, or 2-3 times per sentence) can be a rut. Some accidentally repeated words are Father, Father God, Lord, we just, just bless, and others.
2. Cliché phrases. It isn't wrong to use any of the following phrases. The challenge is that we might use these phrases out of habit, and we could often be more specific.
   1. "Guide and direct"
   2. "Who you are and what you mean"
   3. "Lead and guide"
   4. "Be with"
   5. "Just help"
3. Lack of specificity.
   1. We are to pray for rulers everywhere, and kings, and authorities. Often I think it might be better to pray for 2 or 3 missionaries by "name and need" than to pray for "all the missionaries in the world." Be as specific as possible.
   2. We are to pray for God to help people, but often we could pray for the specific help needed. Instead of "help" Joby Smith, we might pray for Joby Smith to grow in his walk with God or learn to trust God in his current trial or glorify God while his body suffers. We might pray that God would show us how to help him in specific ways.
4. Meaningless phrases. Some phrases are not what we mean at all. "Please be with" is an example of a phrase to avoid. The Holy Spirit indwells the believer and is ever present. We might pray for a person to be aware of the power or presence of God instead of praying "be with." We might pray for a person's eyes to be opened to the ever present God while they stumble along in the fog. Similarly to "help Joby" in the above example, we can often be more specific by saying what we really mean.
5. Treadmill praying. Treadmill praying is praying for the same things every time you pray. It is easy to fall into this rut. The growing Christian aware of his or her surroundings finds ever changing things to bring to the Lord. God wants us to pray for a lot more than having a nice day and thanking him for our food.
6. Elevating circumstances over character. God uses trials to refine us. We must always remember to pray for that part of the equation. It could be a rut to pray only for the relief needed for a certain challenge without praying for spiritual growth and insight needed to overcome through the challenge.
7. Public prayer at the expense of private prayer. This is especially difficult for Christian workers who pray often with others as they minister to them. Praying in Church, in prayer meetings, in staff meetings, in committee meetings, and with hurting people in their homes must not replace private prayer. Seek and savor private time with God alone to renew your strength.

Friends, don't switch on the verbal autopilot when you pray. Take the time to think and say what you mean. If you have to pause to do that, God will wait.

"O Father in heaven, who fashioned my limbs to serve You and my soul to follow hard after You, with sorrow and contrition of heart I acknowledge before You the faults and failures of the day.

Too long, O Father, I have tried Your patience; too often I have betrayed the sacred trust You have given me to keep, yet You are still willing that I should come to You in lowliness of heart, as I do now, beseeching You to drown my transgressions in the sea of Your own infinite love;

My failure to be true even to my own accepted standards
My self-deception in face of temptation
My choosing of the worse when I know the better...O Lord forgive.
My failure to apply to myself the standards of conduct I demand of others,
My blindness to the suffering of others and
My slowness to be taught by my own [suffering]
My complacence toward wrongs that do not touch my own case and
My over-sensitiveness to those that do,
My slowness to see the good in my fellows and to see the evil in myself,
My hardness of heart toward my neighbor's faults
My readiness to make allowance for my own [faults]
My unwillingness to believe that You have called me to a small work and my brother to a great one...
O Lord forgive."¹

This prayer is free from the inhibitions common to many prayers. It is introspective, self effacing, and brutally honest. John Baillie prayed this prayer in the beginning of the last century and it was included in John Baillie's Diary of Private Prayer which is regarded as a devotional classic.²

A prayer like John Baillie's is free of barriers before God. Sometimes barriers, or roadblocks, creep into our prayers without our realization. A roadblock to prayer is a barrier or an obstruction to prayer. A roadblock hinders our prayers.

A roadblock on the Highway does the same thing. The large white and orange contraptions that block the roadway divert traffic. They indicate that something is broken, wrong, or needs repair. A roadblock does not allow traffic to flow in the originally planned path.

God's plan for us is constant communication with him through our prayers. We both speak and listen to God as we pray. Sometimes barriers form that inhibit our ability to communicate with God in the way God intended. The Bible highlights numerous roadblocks to prayer so we can remove them from our lives and rebuild the lines of communication back to God, without obstruction. The key to effective prayer is contrasted below with the roadblock to effective prayer.

1. Have a relationship with God

   Roadblock - No relationship with God.

   They cry for help, but there is no one to save them -they cry to the LORD, but He does not answer them. Psalm 18:41³

   Non-Christians have a roadblock in their prayers. Christian hearts in tune with the heart of God pray boldly for the will of God as the Spirit leads, but the roadblock to the prayers of the unsaved is that they have no relationship with God. They do not see what God is doing, and they are not living in the Spirit. Some would say that God does not hear the prayers of the unsaved, but that is not true. God is all knowing and it is not that he doesn't hear their prayers, it is that he is not working through them by the Spirit. Some would say God is under no obligation to answer the prayers of the unsaved. This is certainly true. While God knows what the unsaved ask for, his face is actually set against them.⁴ He is not listening.

2. Confess the sin in your heart

   Roadblock - Sin in ones heart

   If I had been aware of malice in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. However, God has listened; He has paid attention to the sound of my prayer. Psalm 66:18-19

   The writer of Psalm 66 says that God does not listen to my prayers when I am aware of (literally "when I see") sin in my heart. God certainly hears the prayers, but he is not listening. Listen in this verse means to "pay attention to." God inclines his attentiveness back to his children when they pray with a humble and contrite spirit of repentance, confessing the sins of the heart. The question might be, is God always obligated to answer my prayers? I think not. When I pray in ignorance or error, God is not obligated to answer my prayers either. God will certainly not answer a Christian's prayer to bless an immoral relationship which violates his commanded will. A broken relationship is a barrier to effective communication. God's word says, he is not attentive to prayer from dirty hearts.

3. Repent (turn away) from wrong actions

   Roadblock - Sin in ones daily walk

   "When you lift up your hands in prayer, I will refuse to look at you; even if you offer countless prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are covered with blood. "Wash yourselves. Cleanse yourselves. Remove your evil deeds from My sight. Stop doing evil. Learn to do what is good. Seek justice. Correct the oppressor. Defend the rights of the fatherless. Plead the widow's cause." Isaiah 1:15-20

   This roadblock is dirty hands. Do you take advantage of people in business? Have you deceived others for personal gain? Whether for financial gain or even just reputation? God says I will not listen to you when you will not stop doing wrong, so repent, and turn from known sin in your life.

4. Stay in constant fellowship with Christ

   Roadblock - Broken fellowship with Christ

   If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you want and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this: that you produce much fruit and prove to be My disciples. John 15:6-8

   The result of the three previous points is broken fellowship with God. God wants us to walk moment by moment with Christ. In Christ means intimate ongoing fellowship with him. For his "words to remain in us" we must be permeated with the Scriptures. Live, think, walk, and breathe the words of Christ. When we do not remain in him and his word in us, our prayers are hindered. Lack of scriptural knowledge and spiritual understanding is the roadblock when his word does not remain in us.

5. Be intentional

   Roadblock - Laziness

   And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching, to fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayers. Acts 2:42¹

   Lack of zeal in prayer can render the prayers we do offer ineffective. When your communication with a loved one has been unusually sparse, assuming you have been around each other, you must deal with the barrier present from the lack of communication before healthy communication continues. So it is with our relationship with God. The first words of one's prayer might be repentance for laziness or complacency.

6. Stay God focused

   Roadblock- Selfishness

   You ask and don't receive because you ask wrongly, so that you may spend it on your desires for pleasure. James 4:3

   We can pray with selfish motives. I often wonder what God would accomplish in our lives and churches if we focused entirely on his glory and abandoned the quest for our own. We exist to glorify God. Our prayer time is much more profitable when we pray for the pleasure of God in His own glory than when we pray selfishly. What is the true motive of your prayers? Am I praying for God's to reveal his glory? Or praying for my own comfort and pleasure?

7. Restore broken relationships

   Roadblock- Unresolved hurts and offenses

   1. When you have offended or hurt someone
      So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23-25

      We are to suspend the gift of worship to God, which includes prayer, when a broken relationship with a brother or sister in Christ comes to mind. God says, humbly seek to restore your relationships with others before you worship me. One way to worship God is maintain healthy relationships with those around us. Broken relationships hinder your prayers. The command here is to go to your brother and keep a clean slate.

   2. When you haven't forgiven another
      And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you your wrongdoing. [But if you don't forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your wrongdoing.] Mark 11:25-26

      This truth is the other side of the previous point. If you hold a grudge against someone, you must forgive them. The verse does not command you to go as it does in Matthew 5:23-25. You can forgive the person who may not even be aware you are holding a grudge. It is hypocrisy to seek forgiveness from God while not offering it freely to a brother. As God brings anger, resentment, or bitterness to mind, immediately confess it and turn from it. He who has been forgiven the greater sin (God forgives you and I) should be able to forgive the lesser sin (the sins of others against us).

   3. When there is marital discord
      Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the Christian message, they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live, when they observe your pure, reverent lives. Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes; instead, it should consist of the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God's eyes. For in the past, the holy women who hoped in God also beautified themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do good and aren't frightened by anything alarming. Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with understanding of their weaker nature yet showing them honor as co-heirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:1-7

      Peter commands wives to submit to their husbands with a gentle and quiet spirit. Husbands are forbidden to take advantage of this and are commanded to honor their wives and live with them in an understanding way. Peter says our prayers are hindered if we violate these principles. Remove the roadblock of unresolved hurts and offenses. Make peace with others quickly. The Bible says the measure of our love for those around us is the gage for our love for God. The Bible is plain to say that the one clearly affects the other. Unresolved marital conflict is a roadblock to prayer. That is why Paul said do not let the sun go down on your anger.²

8. Pray boldly

   Roadblock- Timidity

   Therefore let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us at the proper time. Hebrews 4:16

   Christian boldness comes from a right heart before God combined with a right understanding of truth. Nothing is more frustrating than someone boldly pursuing that which is obviously incorrect. When we get our hearts right before God and our theology (the truth), we pray all the more boldly.

Caution!! Do not despair. Do not get the wrong message. Sinless perfection is not the path to effective prayer, obedience is. We can be obedient with out being perfect. Jesus told us to ask for forgiveness just like he told us to ask for our daily bread. Just like we never get beyond the need for bread, we never get beyond the need to constantly confess and turn from our sin. This is why God look[s] favorably on this kind of person: one who is humble, submissive in spirit, and who trembles at My word. (Isaiah 66:2) You can be humble and submissive to God without being perfect. John Piper wrote:

The trusting prayers of a Christian fly boldly to the throne of heaven when the careful pleas of a humble and repentant servant are laid on the wings of obedience to God, fellowship with Christ, and love for truth and others. May our prayers be effective and may we remove the roadblocks that get in their way.

It was a beautiful finish. But then, this was not my first job. I carefully prepared the area. I removed all material that was unacceptable. I directed the driver to back the truck with the gigantic yellow rotating drum up to the curb. I poured the concrete the same way I had for years. With my trowel in hand I finished the surface to perfection. I even formed a unique little swoop around a bulging tree trunk that was in the way of my work. A sweet breeze blew through the oak trees and carried the birds overhead while they whistled to the rhythm of my work. I felt like a chef who carefully placed the final leaf of parsley on a work of culinary perfection. The new freshly poured city sidewalk section I just finished looked absolutely perfect. I went to my truck to put my tools away.

That's when I saw him-but initially I didn't think anything of it. An older gentleman was walking down the sidewalk right towards my freshly finished work of art. From a considerable distance I said "Sir, that is wet concrete right there." Although still not alarmed, I got a vision of my perfect slab with a big nasty footprint right in the middle. I got no response from the man so again I said, "Sir," a little louder this time, "You are about to walk into wet concrete." The man was not looking down and he continued firmly walking straight ahead.

I began to get a whole new vision now. I envisioned him stepping into the wet concrete and tripping as the terrain changed. Then I saw him falling forward, face first into my wet concrete, his Stetson cotton safari hat flying ahead of him and floating down just out of arms reach.

"Sir...", I yelled, turning to run in his direction, but it was too late. He walked right into the wet concrete and then stood there looking down as if to surmise why the sidewalk suddenly softened under his feet. It became immedataley apparent to him that he was standing in wet concrete. It was equally apparent that I was rather disappointed. He backed up, stepping out carefully and went on his way. "I'm sorry sir." I said. He looked over at me when I was talking so he must have heard something, but he didn't seem to hear me and just went on his way...

I am not sure what happened that day. I'm glad he did not fall. Should I have hollered louder? I could have put up my barrier tape sooner-that might have helped. Maybe other background noise prevented his hearing. Maybe he was deaf. Maybe he was depressed. Maybe the pain in his heart prevented his hearing. I'll never know. Either way, he wasn't listening or he couldn't hear me.

Sometimes it is like that with God. Either we can't hear or we are not listening. God has spoken and God still speaks. We have his recorded word. We pray and speak with God and he speaks back to us. We know he does. Sometimes, though, we don't hear. Maybe we are not listening. Maybe we are distracted by the background noise of life. Maybe we are too distracted by the events ahead of us. Maybe we don't look down long enough to see where we are walking, or up long enough to see where we are going. Maybe the pain in your heart has stopped up your ears for God.

An important part communication with God in prayer is listening. Effective communication includes both speaking and listening. Even if communication is not oral, it still involves delivery and reception. God is speaking, so how do we listen to God?

The previous study helped us to see and remove roadblocks from our prayers. If prayer is both speaking and listening to God, after the barriers are removed, how can we learn to listen better? Listening to God is learning to hear his voice. We hear his voice in more ways than just reading the word. Reading and obeying the Bible is an important way to hear from God. We must learn to hear God in all the different ways he speaks. Notice first some prerequisites to hearing and understanding the voice of God. Second, we will look at the ways he speaks to us. And third, some tips for effective listening.

1. Become a Christian

   It was not uncommon for me to supervise a jobsite when I was in business with a number of my employees, as well as employees from other subcontractors. When I gave instructions, the employees who were not mine did not hear me. They may have been aware that I was speaking, but they did not hear it. My words were of no consequence to them. They were not on my team. If they were on my team, they would have been listening for instructions and planning to obey them. Non-Christians may be aware that God is talking; they may even think the Bible might be his word to us. But without a relationship, without being on the team, in the Lord's service, it is all background noise. If you cannot hear the voice of God because you know you do not know him, you are not on his team, pray and ask God to open your ears so you can hear him.

   John 8:47 The one who is from God listens to God's words. This is why you don't listen, because you are not from God."¹
2. Remember you can hear from God.

   Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to listen and understand someone you know well compared to someone you don't know? I am a pretty fast talker (not like "con-man" fast, but "lots of words" fast). Those with whom I have a relationship have no trouble understanding me. If I am with someone new, I often have to repeat myself. The other person does not understand me well because we are not familiar with each other. So it is in the family of God. Maybe your listening skills are dull because you are not listening for God. Stay in relationship. Speak and listen often to God. You can hear him speak. You can recognize the voice of the Lord. His sheep hear his voice and they listen and follow.

   John 10:25-28 Jesus answered them. "The works that I do in My Father's name testify about Me. But you don't believe because you are not My sheep. My sheep hear My voice, I know them, and they follow Me.
3. Repent if you know you have not been listening.

   Maybe you are aimless and wandering. Maybe you are wandering because you haven't been listening. Our loving father welcomes us back with arms wide open if we repent. If you realize you have not been listening to God, maybe God is convicting you right now of your sin. It is a sin to be cold toward God. It is a sin to not be listening, to lose interest in God's voice.

   Hosea 9:17 My God will reject them because they have not listened to Him; they will become wanderers among the nations.
4. Be humble.

   A huge obstacle for some people in listening to others is they think they already know what is being discussed. Have you ever been giving directions for a group activity and realize some were not listening? As soon as the activity starts, they don't know what is happening. They thought they knew it all. So it is with God. We must remain ever aware of our limited understanding, our dullness in hearing, our complete dependence on God for all things, or we will be prideful and think we don't need to listen. God has ways of getting out attention. Listen faithfully for his voice so he does not have to raise his voice.

   Nehemiah 9:16 But our ancestors acted arrogantly; they became stiff-necked and did not listen to Your commands.
5. Listen seriously

   Imagine for a moment that you are on a pleasure cruise ship. You are having a wonderful time until you notice a big thud like noise and a jolt that makes you quite uncomfortable. Your apprehension continues to increase until you find out that the ship has hit an obstacle and is doomed to sink. The pleasure cruise is going to come to and end and there is nothing you can do. Someone is giving instructions for how to be saved and all the sudden the safety placards that tell you how to find and safely install a life jacket are very important to you. Time is of the essence. You might be floating in the ocean at any moment. You assess carefully all the lifeboats and their locations. Then something strange happens. You notice that you are one of only a few who are getting ready for the inevitable demise of the cruise ship. You begin to shake people and say listen, we are going down! The boat is not going to make it! Get ready! They laugh at you and tell you to calm down and relax. You say to them, "Hey, this is really serious. You must get instructions or you will not survive." You hang on every word the captain speaks. You remove any unnecessary items because they may risk your life. You follow instructions without complaint. You toss your jewelry, you take off your shoes, you realize, I must listen, I must understand, I must pay attention. My life depends on it. The same is true in the Christian life. The ship we live on is going to crash, and when it does, it is serious. God is serious about the coming end. The Christian should take the words of our Lord and Captain very seriously.

   Exodus 20:18-19 All the people witnessed the thunder and lightning, the sound of the trumpet, and the mountain surrounded by smoke. When the people saw it they trembled and stood at a distance. "You speak to us, and we will listen," they said to Moses, "but don't let God speak to us, or we will die."
6. Listening requires getting rid of noise

   In my opening story the man walked into my wet concrete. More than likely, he couldn't hear me. Maybe there was other noise that blocked my voice. Maybe the birds were too loud. I don't know, but he couldn't or didn't hear, for whatever reason. I sometimes fear I miss the still small voice of the Lord when there is too much other noise in my life. Jesus got alone to hear form God. We must do the same. Get away from the noise of life. Get alone with God. Turn off the TV, the radio, whatever it takes. I often times kneel at a chair and put a blanket over my head because it makes little distracting sounds go away. Go on a prayer retreat. Find the right closet, or shed, or space where you can be alone with God. Praying together like we do in a prayer service is good, but sometimes you just need to be quiet before God and listen. God will speak.

   Luke 6:12-13 During those days He went out to the mountain to pray and spent all night in prayer to God. When daylight came, He summoned His disciples, and He chose 12 of them

7. Listening requires intentionality

   Just being quiet before God is not enough. We must do more that lose the noise. We must listen and be intentional about it.

   Two friends were walking near Times Square in Manhattan. It was during the noon lunch hour and the streets were filled with people. Cars were honking their horns, taxicabs squealing around corners, and sirens were wailing. The sounds of the city were almost deafening.

   Suddenly one friend said, "What an interesting place to hear a cricket."

   His friend said, "What? You must be crazy. You couldn't possibly hear a cricket in all of this noise!"

   "No, I'm sure of it," his friend said, "I heard a cricket."

   "That's crazy," said his friend.

   The man, who thought he heard a cricket listened carefully for a moment, and then walked across the street to a big cement planter where some shrubs were growing. He looked into the bushes, beneath the branches and located a small cricket.

   His friend was utterly amazed. "That's incredible," said his friend. "You must have superhuman ears!"

   "No," said the man who heard the cricket. "My ears are no different from yours. It all depends on what you're listening for."

   "But that can't be!" said the friend. "I could never hear a cricket in this noise."

   "Yes, it's true," came the reply. "It depends on what is really important to you. Here, let me show you." He reached into his pocket, pulled out a few coins, and discreetly dropped them on the sidewalk. And then, with the noise of the crowded street still blaring in their ears, every head within twenty feet turned and looked to see if the money that tinkled on the pavement was theirs. You can hear what is important to you. Be intentional.

   Luke 9:23 Then He said to them all, "If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me.¹
8. Listen to God in all the ways he speaks.
   1. Bible

      God will never speak to you in contradiction to his word. Whatever way he speaks to you, use the revealed truth in the Bible as a check point. God will never tell you to lie, to skip church because you're tired, to stay out so late on Saturday night that you sleep through church, or to speak truth in an unkind way. Satan lies, but God tells the truth.

   2. Prayer

      We should learn to be quiet and listen often when we pray. Listening like this is often easier in private prayer. I often find the voice of God easier to hear when I am quietly praying alone, or even just being silent before God. Some quietly go for a walk early in the quiet of the morning and speak with God asking him to speak back, and God does.

   3. Circumstances

      God speaks to us and helps us to hear his voice through circumstances, but this is tricky. Some like to look at open and closed doors and we should. But some closed doors are obstacles to overcome in the pursuit of the will of God. Other open doors are wrong to walk through. A Christian cannot walk through every apparent open door in his quest to do the will of God. Open doors abound when it comes to making it easy to sin. The discerning listening Christian always compares circumstances to the stated will of God, to the still small voice of God, and finally to the voice of the church.

   4. Church

      God speaks through the body of Christ, the Church. The individual persons in the Church make up the body of Christ. Every part has a voice. The nose says I smell smoke. The eye says I don't see anything. The ear says I hear a funny sound. The nose says I still smell smoke. The arm says I'm getting somewhat warm. The lungs say it's getting hard to breath in here. The brain says you must just be warm. The eye says, I don't see anything but I am starting to sting a little. Then, the eye says "hello, I'm seeing red flickering stuff here." The mind says, maybe it's a sunset. The eye says, maybe not! Then the individual parts of the body get together and the eye, nose, ear, and arm cooperate to relay the message to the brain that we are on fire here. The church works like that. All the parts of the body assemble to come to a group conclusion. It is critical in prayer that we come to God expecting him to lead the body in unity. God speaks often and clearly through the body of Christ the church when the church is committed to listen. The Church, for example, is very effective in helping members discern their spiritual gifts. The church can hear and feel sometimes what you yourself cannot see yourself. It might sound like this. "Wow Bob," you are great with the High school group. Have you ever thought of discipling youth?" The voice of God comes to Bob through the church in this case. When you listen to God you must expect the Bible, prayer, circumstances, and the church to speak to you from God. Listen carefully.

9. Listening to God fills you with truth.

   Someone said a Christian can smell when something is wrong before he can explain it. I got a letter today from the "Diversity Council" here in Rochester. It was a well written letter with numerous Bible verses in it. How nice I thought, but it smells funny. I'll check it out. Last year the council trained 16,500 youth in Rochester to value diversity and to reduce prejudice. They taught them that ones sexual orientation is something you choose. They taught them that you should never tell someone their value system is wrong. They taught them that homosexuality is a choice to be applauded not a sin to be avoided. They taught them to value the choices of others even if those choices defy God. Listen to God and truth will return to you. If you stop listening to God, you stop hearing and knowing truth.

   Jeremiah 7:27-29 "When you speak all these things to them, they will not listen to you. When you call to them, they will not answer you. You must therefore declare to them: This is the nation that would not listen to the voice of the LORD their God and would not accept discipline. Truth has perished - it has disappeared from their mouths.
10. Listening is being taught by the Holy Spirit

    Never stop asking for help to understand, believe, and follow the things of God. the Spirit of God enables you to understand. If you cannot hear from God, ask the Holy Spirit to teach you what you need to know. Jesus sent the Spirit to teach us all things and remind us of it constantly. Thomas Edison said, "We don't know one millionth of one percent of anything. Trust God alone for truth through the power of the Holy Spirit.

    John 14:25-26 "I have spoken these things to you while I remain with you. But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit - the Father will send Him in My name - will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have told you
11. Listening must include a willingness to obey.

    I often say that the commitment to follow the voice of God often precedes his revelation of our task. Are you determined to follow the voice of God before he speaks? Have you ever asked someone to do you a favor? What was there response? Some say, "Depends what it is." Other say "Anything, you name it." What makes the biggest difference in how someone answers that question? Answer, how much they trust you. You would not say anything to someone you do not trust. Trust God enough to say, "Yes Lord, anything, just ask."

    Deuteronomy 5:27 Go near and listen to everything the LORD our God says. Then you can tell us everything the LORD our God tells you; we will listen and obey.
12. Listen to the word you have already heard.

    You need not listen to God to hear a word from him that he has already spoken. Lets say a parent has a to do list. The child departs to do the chores and returns a short while later. "Mom," the child says, "The list says I am supposed to take out the garbage. Can I skip that one?" "No," the parent says, "Do the list. I will not change my mind." The child comes back and says, "I did not do the list, but can I take a nap now?" "No," the parent says, "Do the list. I will not change my mind." The things spoken in the word of God are God's commands and instructions to us and God is not like a man that he should change his mind. The writer of Hebrews tells it like this:

    Hebrews 2:1-3 We must therefore pay even more attention to what we have heard, so that we will not drift away. For if the message spoken through angels was legally binding, and every transgression and disobedience received a just punishment, how will we escape if we neglect such a great salvation?

Friends, we can hear from God and he wants us to listen. Learn to listen carefully to God and practice what you learn, obey what you hear, and thank him much for the conversation.

He was a little tired. The surroundings were familiar, but remained still awkward. He liked the outdoors and was no stranger to it. The birds made their usual noises, the wind in the trees played constant background music for the thoughts that ran through his head.

"This is the will of God. I know it," he said out loud. After all, no one was around so he could talk out loud. It is OK to talk out loud to yourself, right? Or was he alone. Sometimes he felt a cool presence there with him that made him uncomfortable. Not a presence with a "nifty" "neat-o" kind of cool, but a chilling sense of some sort of indefinable lingering ever present danger coolness.

He spent a lot of time outside and was accustomed to even sleep outside, but he knew he was beginning to wear down. Early on visitors made an occasional quest to see him, but lately no one came anymore. Had all his friends forgotten about him? If they did, that sure didn't take long. Throughout his sabbatical like experience, he continued to pray for his friends even though they no longer came. He prayed for their safety while he was gone. He meant it, too. He knew they had issues of their own to work out while he was away, so while he prayed for his own soul and safety, he prayed for theirs also.

That's when it happened. He was in a spirit of prayer and thinking about what was important in life, when he heard a voice. Not a strange voice, but one that had an eerie familiarity about it. He had heard this voice before. Too many times before. I must be strong he thought. The voice came closer and closer until he heard the words articulated by the unwelcome presence perfectly clear. "Feeling Hungry? I'll bet you are," the voice interrupted.

The words were true. He hadn't been eating and he was hungry. I must be strong. I can do this.

"If You are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread,"¹ the voice daringly spoke.

If I am the son of God he thought? You know who I am.

Jesus hesitated only a moment and then he said, "It is written, Man must not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God."²

Jesus had been fasting for 40 days when the tempter suggested that he turn stones into bread. Like this would be any big deal for Jesus. He didn't need stones to make bread. He could make it from nothing. He made manna from air for 40 years. He made water come out of rocks. He made fruit grow out of sticks and vegetables come out of dirt. So what was the big deal here?

And what did Jesus say that day? Did he say I'm not hungry? No. Did he say food is not important? No. Did he say fasting makes you more spiritual? No. He said thanks for the invite but there is something going on here that is much greater than my desire for food.

Greater than my desire for food you say? What is greater than that? Without food I will die, at least after while. Oh, and water too. That's really important. What is more important than that.

Jesus said that day, my obedience to God is more important than my stomach. It is more important than my health, and it is more important than my life. You can play games by asking me if I am the son of God, get real, you know that I am. But you cannot play games with what is the most important thing in the universe. God is. The relevance of every thing that exists is only to the degree it relates to God. Jesus' submission to the will of God was at stake and he resisted the tempter and did not take the easy way out.

Beloved, there is a whole lot more going on in your life besides food, and water, and clothes, and job, and friends. God says, "Do you love me more than all these."³ Forget about stuff that doesn't matter, and focus on what does. You spend money to make your self feel better? The Bible says you buy what will never satisfy.⁴ You drink flavored water to make it taste better? Jesus said find in me a fresh spring of living water that springs up with constant refreshment.⁵ You eat food to comfort yourselves? God said find in me food that no one can take away. Work for everlasting food. Feast on the bread of life. Jesus is the bread of life.

That's where fasting comes in. Fasting is voluntary denial of an otherwise normal activity for the sake of intense spiritual activity.⁶ When we fast, we lay aside a normal hunger to refocus and rekindle a hunger for God. Our hunger for food reminds us of our need to hunger for God. What do we know about fasting?

1. Fasting is a normal Biblical activity.
   1. The list of those who fasted in the Bible read like a who's who list of great spiritual leaders.
      1. Moses- Deuternomy 9:9 on the mountain
      2. David- 2 Samuel 12:16 a child was ill
      3. Elijah- 1 Kings 19:8 after the great conquest
      4. Esther- Esther 4:16 before seeing the king for 3 days and nights
      5. Daniel- Daniel 1:8, 9:3, 10:2-3 over the sin of the nations
      6. Paul- Acts 9:9, 2 Corinthians 11:27
      7. The church- Acts 13:3, 14:23 when making big decisions
      8. Jesus- Matthew 4, Luke 4, Mark 1 the temptation of Christ
   2. Fasting is normal for Christian leaders.

      Augustine	John Calvin
      John Knox	John Wesley
      Jonathan Edwards	David Brainerd
      Charles Finney	Martin Luther

2. Fasting should not be legalistic

   Fasting is not commanded. The Bible speaks from the understanding that growing Christians would fast, but there is no command. Matthew 6:16-18 says "Whenever you fast, don't be sad-faced like the hypocrites... But when you fast, put oil on your head, and wash your face, so that you don't show your fasting to people but to your Father who is in secret." Martin Luther said about these verses, Jesus was not rejecting or despising fasting, his intention was to restore proper fasting. Fasting was hypocritical and done for show. Jesus pointed that out to them. That is the hardest part of fasting for me. It is often hard to keep fasting between you and God, if you have a family for example.

3. Fasting happens in different ways

   Most fasting is from food. Sometimes a fast is from food and water.

   1. Supernatural- Moses and Elijah went 40 days without any food or water
   2. Total- (food and water also) Esther, Nineveh, and Paul⁷
   3. Normal- (food) Jesus, John the Baptist, Pharisees
   4. Partial- Daniel (ate pulse), Charles Wesley- bread and water
   5. Other- from people, TV, crowds, mall, sex⁸, and many others.

4. Fasting has multiple purposes
   1. Fasting is worship to God

      Fasting is an act of worship to God. Anna in the temple worshipped God constantly with or by prayer and fasting. Luke 2:37-38 She did not leave the temple complex, serving (latreuw latreuw - worshipping) God night and day with fastings and prayers.¹

   2. Fasting validates confession

      The grieving heart of the broken Christian may choose fasting to validate the confession of the heart. The children of Israel often accompanied their confession with fasting to acknowledge their seriousness before God. In 1 Samuel 7:6 "They gathered at Mizpah, they drew water and poured it out in the LORD's presence. They fasted that day, and there they confessed, "We have sinned against the LORD."

   3. Fasting demonstrates repentance
      1. Even the unsaved are able to equate fasting as a demonstration of repentance before God. Jonah preached judgment to the city and the king "got up from his throne, took off his royal robe, put on sackcloth, and sat in ashes. Then he issued a decree in Nineveh: By order of the king and his nobles: No man or beast, herd or flock, is to taste anything at all. They must not eat or drink water. Furthermore, both man and beast must be covered with sackcloth, and everyone must call out earnestly to God. Each must turn from his evil ways and from the violence he is doing. Who knows? God may turn and relent; He may turn from His burning anger so that we will not perish. (Jonah 3:6-9)"
      2. Christians should fast to express sincerity in their repentance. David committed adultery and then murder to cover it up. God declared his punishment to him through the prophet Nathan. David fasted in repentance as the discipline of God unfolded in his life in 2 Samuel 12:16. "David pleaded with God for the [life of the] boy. He fasted, went home, and spent the night lying on the ground." David was a man after God's heart not because he never sinned, but because he was broken in confession and repentance before God.
   4. Fasting can accompany major decisions

      Christians emphasize the will of God in all things and seek humbly to find and follow it. Christians position themselves in a place of humility before God by fasting about major decisions. In Acts 14:23-24 "When they had appointed elders in every church and prayed with fasting, they committed them to the Lord in whom they had believed." In Acts 13:3 "after they had fasted, prayed, and laid hands on them, they sent them off."

   5. Fasting can demonstrate humility in danger

      Esther was going to go before the King and ask for a favor. This was a dangerous action and could get her killed if the king did not respond with favor. Esther said, "Go and assemble all the Jews who can be found in Susa and fast for me. Don't eat or drink for three days, night and day. I and my female servants will also fast in the same way. After that, I will go to the king even if it is against the law. If I perish, I perish. (Esther 4:16-17)"

   6. Fasting can foster humility

      Fasting is not a command. It is a voluntary act of submission before God. God hates pride above all things. Fasting is an intentional act which demonstrates a willingness to be submissive and humble before God. David said in Psalm 35:13 "I humbled myself with fasting, and my prayer was genuine." Christians can humble them selves before God by fasting.

   7. Fasting can be a prerequisite for spiritual power

      The disciples encountered a boy they were unable to heal. Jesus told them "this kind does not come out except by prayer and fasting." (Matthew 17:21) Fasting heightens our spiritual awareness before God.

5. Fasting should be for God
   1. Fast for a spiritual purpose

      Jesus commented about the fasting practices of the religious leaders of that day. His assessment was that they fasted legalistically for show, and he condemned them for it. The details of a fast are up to the individual. The principles mentioned throughout the Bible provide the framework and the reasons for fasting, but the intimate details of a fast are most often between the faster and God. On some occasions, church leaders might encourage a time of corporate fasting, but even this cannot be legalistic. Jesus told the listeners in Matthew 6:16-18 "Whenever you fast, don't be sad-faced like the hypocrites. For they make their faces unattractive so their fasting is obvious to people. I assure you: They've got their reward! But when you fast, put oil on your head, and wash your face, so that you don't show your fasting to people but to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

   2. Fast for a definite purpose

      The reasons listed above are all valid reasons to fast and there should be a clear reason why you are fasting. There are health and medical benefits for fasting, but to fast for weight loss is not fasting to the Lord (unless you are fasting in repentance for being overweight). We need to fast to and for God. In Zechariah 7:4-5 "the word of the LORD of Hosts came to me: "Ask all the people of the land and the priests: When you fasted and lamented in the fifth and in the seventh months for these 70 years, did you really fast for Me?" The answer to the question here was that they were not fasting for God. It was just a legalistic ritual.

6. Fasting should be a part of your life.

   Richard Foster shares the prayer journal of someone's experience who grew through the process of deciding to fast one day a week for a two year period.

   1. I felt it a great accomplishment to go a whole day without food. Congratulated myself on the fact that I found it so easy...
   2. I began to see that going a whole day without food was hardly the goal of fasting. I was helped in this by beginning to feel hunger...
   3. I began to relate the fast to other areas of my life where I was more compulsive... I did not have to have a seat on the bus to be contented, or to be cool in the summer and warm when it was cold.
   4. I am reflecting more on Christ's suffering and the suffering of those who are hungry and have hungry babies...
   5. Six months after beginning the fast discipline, I began to see why a two-year period has been suggested. The experience changes along the way. Hunger on fast days became acute, and the temptation to eat became stronger. For the first time I was using the day to find God's will for my life. I began to think about what it meant to surrender one's life.
   6. I now know that prayer and fasting must be intricately bound together. There is no other way, and yet that way is not yet combined in me.²

Fasting is voluntary denial of an otherwise normal activity for the sake of intense spiritual activity³. Fasting is the humble expression of a repentant confessing Christian before God. Fasting is an act of submission that honors God when it is done for a spiritual purpose. Fasting lays aside normal hunger to refocus and rekindle a hunger for God. Are you hungry for God?

Four men of the cloth, taking a short breather from their heavy schedules, were on a park bench, chatting and enjoying an early spring day. "You know, since all of us are such good friends," said one, "this might be a good time to discuss the problems that are disturbing us." They all nodded in agreement. Well, I would like to share with you the fact that I drink to excess," said one. There was a gasp from the other three. Then another spoke up. "Since you were so honest, I'd like to say that my big problem is gambling. It's terrible, I know, but I can't quit. I've even been tempted to take money from the collection plate." Another gasp was heard, and the third clergyman spoke. "I'm really troubled, brothers, because I'm sleep every afternoon for 4 hours in my office." More gasps. But the fourth man remained silent. After a few minutes, the others coaxed him to open up. "The fact is," he said, "I just don't know how to tell you about my problem." "It's all right, brother. Your secret is safe with us." "Well, it's this way," he said. "You see, I'm an incurable gossip."

This is just a humorous story, but still, we know the point that the story makes. All the sudden, the confession takes on a completely new tone. Is it possible that we could share too much in a prayer setting? Is it possible that we could cross a line and gossip in a prayer time? We all know this is possible.

Much contemporary writing on gossip is unacceptable and gossip is often deemed as helpful and necessary. The Social Issues Research Center reports that: "Whatever its moral status, there is certainly some evidence to suggest that gossip is a deep-seated human instinct: evolutionary psychologists have compared the evolution of gossip in humans with the practice of 'social grooming' among chimps - where the animals spend hours grooming each other's fur, even when they are perfectly clean, as a form of social bonding. This would indicate that gossip, far from being a trivial pastime, actually performs a vital and socially therapeutic function."

I can personally say that "gossip therapy" has never benefited me very much. Gossip is defined a number of different ways. One definition of gossip is just simply idle talk, or unnecessary talk of a negative nature. Some would say it is talk that tears down and does not build up.

My favorite understanding of gossip comes by contrasting it with flattery. Flattery is saying something in someone's presence that you would not say behind their back. In contrast, gossip is saying something behind someone's back that you would be reluctant to say in their presence. I know the feeling, like most of you, of saying something negative about someone and then realizing they have likely heard me. Sometimes the person walks in or was nearby. This is an uncomfortable feeling and indicates words that should never have been said.

So what does this have to do with prayer? It is possible for us to pray or share prayer requests in a way that is gossip. Here are several things to consider about group prayer to avoid gossip.

1. Be a trust worthy confidant-

   Proverbs 11:13 A gossip goes around revealing a secret, but the trustworthy keeps a confidence.

   I am keenly aware that some things should not be kept a secret. This is especially true if someone is in danger for example. But, using prayer to deliver or gain the inside scoop on others is not about prayer - it's just gossip. Be a good friend and know what is OK to share and what is not. You might ask your friend, may I share this with others when I pray? If there is any doubt about the answer, you probably should not share the information. This is important in areas of personal weakness, marital issues, or conflict with other believers. If your neighbors are struggling in their marriage, a better prayer request might be for you to have God's wisdom and love for your neighbor, rather than to share the explicit details of the conflict.

2. Learn what to avoid.

   Proverbs 20:19 The one who reveals secrets is a constant gossip; avoid someone with a big mouth.

   There are some things you just shouldn't want to know. In some cases, you cannot share what you know in prayer because you never should have been told the information in the first place. I had a friend some years ago who walked out of a seminary class and said, "That professor so and so is so arrogant. I don't like him. He drives me..." I said, "Stop right there. You didn't say it and I didn't hear it. Now, what else would you like to talk about? We both knew immediately that this was a conversation we could not have. Beloved, there are some feelings, thoughts, and emotions that you can only share with God. Do not allow what looks like sympathy to another to be an excuse for someone to share things that should not be said.

3. Think before you share-

   Psalms 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to You, LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.

   If somebody says, "I hope you won't mind me telling you this," it's pretty certain you will. I catch myself saying. "I shouldn't say this but..." If you shouldn't say it, don't say it. One of the best ways to end a rumor is to ask if you may quote the individual passing it along. If the person says no, it's possible that the rumor is just idle talk. If you like to spread news about others, ask yourself if you would want someone to quote you. A negative answer is a good sign you should not listen in the first place, or if it is too late, keep your lips sealed on the matter. A positive response should lead not to back-fence reporting but to up-front discussions and confrontations.

   A rule of thumb about what you can share comes from the acronym think. Ask the following questions before you share information:

   • T-Is it true?
   • H-Is it helpful?
   • I-Is it inspiring?
   • N-Is it necessary?
   • K-Is it kind?
4. Help others to share rightly

   Proverbs 26:20-22 Without wood, fire goes out; without a gossip, conflict dies down. As charcoal for embers and wood for fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. A gossip's words are like choice food that goes down to one's innermost being.

   We must all be on guard to share rightly. Sometimes we accidentally share something inappropriate. Some warning clues are statements like:

   1. This stays right here but...
   2. No one else knows this but...
   3. I over heard that...
   4. I am not sure if this is true but...
   5. Don't tell anyone but...
   6. I probably shouldn't say this but...

Love one another enough to avoid saying things that shouldn't be said in the first place, and love each other enough to help and be helped in this area. Most honest Christians will admit that we all need a little help in this department from time to time.

Mildred needed to learn this lesson. Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George and several others that everyone seeing it there would know exactly what he was doing. George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house ... walked home ... and left it there all night.

Let us commit to Ephesians 4:29, "Let no worthless word come out of your mouth, but only that which is good for building up others according to their need, that it might give grace to the one who hears it." (Author's translation)

Thirteen studies later, I want to end where we started. In the beginning of our Wednesday night journey, I quoted several great Christian leaders. Jim Cymbala, Pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle and author of "Fresh Wind Fresh Fire" declared

I want to share some more of what this author said in his book.¹

Copyright © 2005 by Kevin Binkley